Don't ask me if the dress makes you look fat
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"Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?"
Don’t ask me that. Ever.
It seems like a horrible thing to say, but if you ask me that, I will tell you “Yes.”
It’s not that I don’t have a sense of tact (I do), but that when you ask that question, you already know the answer. If you know the answer, and I know the answer, why ask? If you think you look fat in that dress, then it is not right for your self/body image and you should choose something different.
Honestly, I don’t see the point in telling you that dress looks good if it doesn’t. Then you go out on the town or to wherever looking less than your best and I feel like a shit heel for lying to you. It’s better to just be honest.
I will, however couch it in nice terms and say “I don’t think that’s the best dress for tonight, what about the blue one?”, but it amounts to the same thing. And if you are honest with yourself when I say it, you will understand exactly what I mean when you hear that.
So the bottom line is that if you are not comfortable with your clothes, or not comfortable with your body, all of my emotional reinforcement and my little white lies aren’t going to help you dress the way you think you should, or get the body you want. If you have to ask the question, then you know the answer. It looked great when you bought it, and it doesn’t now. The only person that can fix that is you. You can change the dress, or change yourself.
That is why I started the P-90X program with Barbergirl28 and Moviedude31. I wasn’t comfortable with my body or the way my clothes fit. I needed to do something about it, and buying new clothes would have only been a band-aid when the real problem is that I needed improving on the physical level.
We are now a week into it (I have, unfortunately missed a few days due to personal issues), and I feel better about myself, simply for starting the program and vowing to see it through until the end. For those of you that know Barbergirl28 in real life, the physical transformation has been amazing. That is the sort of transformation that I am looking for as well. I need that “WOW” factor that makes me feel like I have accomplished something and met real goals.
If you have set yourself a new-years resolution to lose weight or get in better shape, then you need to start a regimen. Whether it is Power-90, or P-90X, or any other program, it needs to be regimented at the same time every day. It needs to be part of your life-routine or you are going to fall back into your own habits and begin to feel bad about yourself.
You can change your clothes, and be back in the same situation in 6 months time when you gain more weight again, or you can change yourself and save the money at the mall. It’s up to you.
So don’t ask me about your clothes. If you have to ask, then you aren’t happy with them in the first place. You shouldn't need someone else's validation to be happy with yourself.
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
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@KellyMcB: Thanks for reading. I don't mean to imply that I have a problem with people that are overweight. If you are comfortable with your body and your body image, then by all means keep on doing what you do. But if you have to ask the question, then you are not comfortable, and I refuse to provide the little white lies that delay you taking charge of your life.
I feel that everyone is responsible for the decisions in their lives, including the decision to do nothing. Tomorrow is simply an hour of stretching, and I plan to go through with that as well even though I have the option of skipping it. Beach season is coming up!
I in no way have a problem with people being overweight. I feel if you are comfortable in your skin then congratulations, because a lot of people aren't, but I agree with you. If you have to ask if you look okay then there is something you don't like about whatever you are wearing and you probably shouldn't wear it.
I'm not overweight because I've taken charge in my life and done things to prevent that. I have the genes to get heavy, but I'm doing everything I can to not let that happen.
Hello SoldieringOn. I found this funny, because every time I hear the question I find myself in a predicament. Honesty? or Lie? Experience indicates it is a lose-lose question, no matter how you answer, unless of course you're around one of those women who make anything they wear look good.
Women who make anything they wear look good will ask that question too. I'm convinced it's not because they don't know, but because they want to hear it said.
I'm laughing here. I learned a long time ago never to ask anyone about clothing. I like it or I don't and that's really all that matters. I like the part here about make a plan/regimen and stick to it. That's good advice for many situations.
I actually read this last Saturday but because I was on my phone I didn't leave the comment I intended... so... do this socks make my ankles look fat! LMAO
I think this is a trap question. I try to stick away from it as much as possible. I know what I look like and I don't need reassurance from anybody else. However, sometimes hearing it makes you force yourself into the change. Then again, could this question just be a way to fish for compliments depending on the person. Ah ... the female handbook is just too big to get through! LOL Great hub! Very entertaining thoughts. And the next time you are confronted with this question... just chew on a snickers... isn't that how the commerical goes... or is it twix?
KellyMcB Level 2 Commenter 4 months ago
You are so right! Me being a girl, I know that if I ask my husband if I look okay I immediately say something about my outfit I don't like no matter what he says. I completely admit to that. I agree 100% that you should make your workout at the same time every day. I have stuck to my workout every day now that I chose a specific to time to do it. Today is the first day all week I didn't work out, and I'm actually mad at myself for not doing it. Thanks for being honest!